“I Don’t Even Like You Right Now”

I murmured under my breath, quietly yet loud enough for him to know I was irritated, “I don’t even like you right now.”

It all started with an innocent question, “Aren’t we taking the boys to Gatlinburg for Fall Break?” He responded with a curt “No, we can’t afford.”

I backfired with “BUT YOU SAID we could take them to for Fall Break.”

He counters with “I never said that.”
Me: “Yes, you did”
Him: “No, I didn’t.”
Me: “I wouldn’t have taken a week off for nothing.”
Him: “We could have a stay-cation”
Me: “I don’t want to take off and stay here”

Battle lines are drawn and our son comes in and asks why we are so quiet.
The silent treatment starts. Maturity destroyed.
I go to one television and he goes to the other.
I am psychotic.
So is he.

Hostility reigns in the Ewing house.
We are at an impasse.
Lines have been drawn, gridlock has begun.

What to do? I mean, two nights ago in my real talk video I discussed respecting your husband. Tonight I want to strangle him. Is there a reputable way to take out your husband?

This is marriage. It is the good, the bad, and the ugly. Twenty years later and one misunderstanding leaves us treating each other like the enemy and the cold war lingers and the aftermath is brutal.

Our marriages are under siege everyday and the enemy is swarming around waiting to strike with powerful venom. Part of me knows I should relent but the angry side of me wants to keep battling.

Yet, what is the cost? Luke 14:25-24 asks us to recognize that the cost of being a disciple of Christ is colossal and Luke 14:28 challenges us to “consider the cost.” We know that war has an enormous price tag. Are we willing to pay it? Will we dig our heels in the sand for a weeklong trip? Is the medal of victory a balance for a peaceful marriage? No. Yet, I honestly want both – to be the righteous winner and the respectful wife. WHO CAN WIN???

We can’t win but we can concede for the greater good. We can acquiesce for peace because Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”  There are issues that are worth the fight – family vacations might be one of those things one day. But today, God is telling me to lay down my sword.

What do you need to lay down tonight? Is there a “greater good” you need cling to now?



5 thoughts on ““I Don’t Even Like You Right Now”

  1. You are spot on. Ten years into our marriage I had to decide to yield or to live in resentment. I chose to concede/yield. God has blessed that choice over and over. Our marriage is 50 years strong. God is faithful.

  2. Oh, can’t we quickly go to “I don’t even like you right now”? When I am in this state, I try to look at what it is like to live with me? Many times I realize he probably thinks he doesn’t like me much more. I am sure I am not easy to live with and this makes me let go of things that won’t matter next week.

  3. You could have been a fly on the wall in our house last night! One minute I’m in the bathtub, praying for my husband and children, the next I’m completely frustrated by all the things that still have to be done (preparing for school and work the next day) and my husband’s unwillingness to help. I got SO angry, stomped out of the room, but then stopped. And prayed. God showed me I was frustrated with several other things outside of my control, outside of my home, and I was able to calm down and go talk to him in LOVE and share how overwhelmed I was, and why. He immediately backtracked and apologized, but if I’d stewed about it, instead of praying about it, the strife may have continued on through the next day; instead, healing and closeness were revived.

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