I don’t need God. I have so insulated my life that at any given time, I am pretty self-reliant. I know in my head that I need Him, that life is not complete without Him, but there are days that I hardly give Him attention after my Bible readings are finished.
If I am hungry, I get something to eat.
If I am cold, I grab the nearest blanket or turn up my heated mattress warmer.
If I have a headache, I reach for the aspirin.
If I am thirsty, I grab a Diet Dr. Pepper.
If I am lonely, I text a friend.
If I am tired, I turn off all the lights and take a nap.
When I have a need, I find a way to fulfill it.
I have been in a place that I needed Him to make it through the next minute but I am not there right now. Honestly, most days I just plow through and don’t necessarily need Him.
Something radical must be done. I don’t like living this way. I know better.
Tomorrow, I am embarking on a journey. I am creating a need for Him in my life. I am choosing to do without some things so that I can force myself to need Him.
Let me explain, imagine I cooked Brad the most fabulous of dinners (I know, unbelievable, I told you to use your imagination for goodness sake) picture steak, steamed veggies, potatoes, and a wonderful dessert waiting on him when he walked in the door. A feast for him of pure deliciousness waiting for him but he didn’t know I was cooking (he is used to this NOT happening) so he grabs some McDonald’s on the way home. He is very full from the yucky McDonald’s but sees the great meal I have made for him and pretends to enjoy. However, no matter how good my meal is(we are still pretending), Brad is just full and has little room for the goodness I have prepared.
This is me!! I am so full from the junk that even when I try to focus on God, I am too full.
This type of living is no longer acceptable to me so I suckered a few friends into doing this with me. Starting tomorrow, we are following Jen Hatmaker’s example from her book 7 and eating seven foods for a month. I can’t even think about next month, it involves clothes, one of my favorite indulgences. You thought I was crabby last month? Just wait till 7 is in full swing.
I am tired of being so full of junk that I miss God.