I am home.
I was greeted by very happy boys to see their momma. They were all glad I got to spend a week writing but were also glad for me to be home.
I was also greeted by a dose of reality.
Reality slapped me in the face right when I walked through the doors. The laundry was in piles in the middle of the kitchen. The baskets in their rooms were overflowing with dirty clothes. I can not even write about what the boys bathroom looked like. I am still scarred from the level of yuckness of a boy’s toilet. I was shocked. I just sprayed scrubbing bubbles all over the bathroom and walked out and shut the door, praying it will have the desired effect. I will enter later with gloves and a face mask.
Why was I so surprised?
I have no earthly idea.
I knew there would be repercussions from a week away from home. I just wasn’t ready for them. I should have been. It might have had a little something to do with the fact I had been at my parents for a week. I spent a week being spoiled. Coffee and breakfast ready after I had slept in till eight o’clock. My favorite hamburger place, Mooyah’s for lunch each day. No laundry. No fixing food for someone else. No messes. No messy toilets.
I had a very productive week and I spent the ride home singing and praising (I sound just like Carrie Underwood in the privacy of my car) the Lord. I was on an emotional high after a week spent writing and remembering all that God has done in our lives. I was reminded daily how far He has brought us. I spent hours reminiscing on His power to heal a family. I was full of thankfulness, it is truly a miracle that we have lived to tell about it. I never even thought about what coming home would be like, I should have gotten a clue when Brad called to ask me about the budget. Budget, PFFT!
Now reality. Today’s reality.
It is great to look back and remember what God has done, to relive the awesomeness of where we have been and where we have come. But we must focus on what He is doing now, expecting it to be just a powerful an act as He previously worked.
Yes, my life looks different now – I no longer have to count the minutes since we lost Jake. I live in a different kind of challenge, one that seems so petty in light of past experiences but are real just the same.
How I long to clean Jake’s clothes one more time, yet I curse when my present company fills the laundry bag. How wretched I am? I know better, yet I still cringe at the dirty toilets and whiny faces. Oswald Chambers says “the true test of persons spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting happening.” Yesterday, I failed in dealing with the ordinary. It is easy to wait for the big extraordinary tests in our lives and we might even pass them. But make no mistake, the everyday mundane events are just important and can be just as costly.
Today, you might be counting the minutes of how long it has been since your world has shattered or you might just be counting the loads of laundry that has to be done. But we both have a choice in those moments, will we obey? Will we choose to trust him when He can’t be seen? Will we choose to serve those He has blessed us with?
“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God!”