Each time I return from a mission trip I feel myself sinking into a depression. I am now responsible for what I have seen and what I know and I am not sure what to do with it. I come home from each trip knowing that I must live differently in light of what I have learned. But it is really hard. I left Africa thinking that it would be easier to follow God in Africa than it is here in America. It seems so simple there – serve God and serve others.
Here, I find myself distracted and worried about things that don’t really matter.
I am no longer surrounded by a team of people who are determined to serve God and each other daily.
I don’t get to wake up to breakfast with a group that prays with and for each other to do God’s work each day.
I feel a bit lost here.
I know I want to live differently, but I am unsure of how to live here like I did in Africa. Honestly, I felt the same way on my last mission trip but months later I was back to living the same ole selfish way.
What God is showing me is that the problem is not the location, the problem is me. I am so like Paul in that “I don’t understand what I do, for what I want to do I do not do, but what I had I do.”
The problem isn’t where I am, the problem is sin. It took me going to Africa to see that I am the problem, my sin is the issue.
And Jesus is the only solution.