Sinking Depression

Each time I return from a mission trip I feel myself sinking into a depression. I am now responsible for what I have seen and what I know and I am not sure what to do with it. I come home from each trip knowing that I must live differently in light of what I have learned. But it is really hard. I left Africa thinking that it would be easier to follow God in Africa than it is here in America. It seems so simple there – serve God and serve others.

Here, I find myself distracted and worried about things that don’t really matter.

I am no longer surrounded by a team of people who are determined to serve God and each other daily.

I don’t get to wake up to breakfast with a group that prays with and for each other to do God’s work each day.

I feel a bit lost here.

I know I want to live differently, but I am unsure of how to live here like I did in Africa. Honestly, I felt the same way on my last mission trip but months later I was back to living the same ole selfish way.

What God is showing me is that the problem is not the location, the problem is me. I am so like Paul in that “I don’t understand what I do, for what I want to do I do not do, but what I had I do.”

The problem isn’t where I am, the problem is sin. It took me going to Africa to see that I am the problem, my sin is the issue.

And Jesus is the only solution.


4 thoughts on “Sinking Depression

  1. Kasey, don’t sink in depression…you took the “light” to those people
    and you gave those children love, touch and hope they may have never been
    able to experience. You gave them a little glimpse of Heaven….our
    sin keeps us all from being what we desire to be in God’s kingdom, but
    our sin also brought us out of living under the “LAW” and now we are under the “LOVE.” You and the team shared that love….press on!
    Hugs…Pam Beck

    1. Thanks girl! Yes, Jesus took that sin upon himself so we could share His love to all! I am reminding myself and thankful for his sacrifice for me!

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