Back to Reality

I am home.
I was greeted by very happy boys to see their momma. They were all glad I got to spend a week writing but were also glad for me to be home.
I was also greeted by a dose of reality.
Reality slapped me in the face right when I walked through the doors. The laundry was in piles in the middle of the kitchen. The baskets in their rooms were overflowing with dirty clothes. I can not even write about what the boys bathroom looked like. I am still scarred from the level of yuckness of a boy’s toilet. I was shocked. I just sprayed scrubbing bubbles all over the bathroom and walked out and shut the door, praying it will have the desired effect. I will enter later with gloves and a face mask.
Why was I so surprised?
I have no earthly idea.
I knew there would be repercussions from a week away from home. I just wasn’t ready for them. I should have been. It might have had a little something to do with the fact I had been at my parents for a week. I spent a week being spoiled. Coffee and breakfast ready after I had slept in till eight o’clock. My favorite hamburger place, Mooyah’s for lunch each day. No laundry. No fixing food for someone else. No messes. No messy toilets.
Quiet.
Peace.
I had a very productive week and I spent the ride home singing and praising (I sound just like Carrie Underwood in the privacy of my car) the Lord. I was on an emotional high after a week spent writing and remembering all that God has done in our lives. I was reminded daily how far He has brought us. I spent hours reminiscing on His power to heal a family. I was full of thankfulness, it is truly a miracle that we have lived to tell about it. I never even thought about what coming home would be like, I should have gotten a clue when Brad called to ask me about the budget. Budget, PFFT!
Now reality. Today’s reality.
It is great to look back and remember what God has done, to relive the awesomeness of where we have been and where we have come. But we must focus on what He is doing now, expecting it to be just a powerful an act as He previously worked.
Yes, my life looks different now – I no longer have to count the minutes since we lost Jake. I live in a different kind of challenge, one that seems so petty in light of past experiences but are real just the same.

How I long to clean Jake’s clothes one more time, yet I curse when my present company fills the laundry bag. How wretched I am? I know better, yet I still cringe at the dirty toilets and whiny faces. Oswald Chambers says “the true test of persons spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting happening.” Yesterday, I failed in dealing with the ordinary. It is easy to wait for the big extraordinary tests in our lives and we might even pass them. But make no mistake, the everyday mundane events are just important and can be just as costly.
Today, you might be counting the minutes of how long it has been since your world has shattered or you might just be counting the loads of laundry that has to be done. But we both have a choice in those moments, will we obey? Will we choose to trust him when He can’t be seen? Will we choose to serve those He has blessed us with?
“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God!”

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11 thoughts on “Back to Reality

  1. That is one of my favorite Chambers’ quotes. Funny, because I just re-read it a few days ago in a journal. As ever, he hits the nail square on the head.

    I know I’m such a contradictory woman – like you with the laundry. When I’d be bugged by John leaving his dirty socks wherever, I’d stop and think how sad I’d be if he wasn’t here any more to leave them lying around. Perspective is everything. Dirty socks and laundry are so trivial. Thanks be to God that we have these clothes to wear (and wash and dry and fold). Praise Him that we have these precious family members to hold, love, enjoy, and sometimes be bugged by. We sure don’t grow and mature when live is easy-peasy. Welcome home, Kasey.

  2. Excuse me!!??

    We are lucky the kids got dressed, had food and got to school each day.

    I don’t wash clothes though. I thought about paying my mom to do it. I just wore the same jeans for a week and slept in the same pj pants at night. 🙂

  3. I read convicted of my human-ness. Complaining, neglecting to appreciate how God works in the ordinary days of life… and how I fail to respond in those ordinary moments.
    Thank you for sharing from your heart.
    Much love…

    1. I spent all yesterday pondering my human-ness and daily need for THE redeemer. I can so relate to Paul – I don’t do what I want and do what I don’t want. You would think I would have learned by now??!! He is good to convict and restore!

  4. So glad you got that time away! I thought of you so many times and wondered how it was going.

    I was thinking it would have been cool for you to escape to my house to write. But then I realized how very little writing I would have allowed you to do because I’d want to sit around and talk and talk and talk and talk.

    So you chose wisely. But now that you’re done writing and we have discovered that apparently filth doesn’t kill boys, you can leave them again some time soon and come play with me!!

  5. One again I am convicted!!! I have so much to be thankful for, but I seem to focus on the “to do” list instead of living in the moment. (Call me Martha!) uggg! I’m trying to write a poem for PT’s bday and realized that he’s got one foot out of the door! Our time is so valuable. I’ve got to make it count!! Even when ironing and making lunches every night!!! Love you! Missed you! Still didn’t see you today!! 🙂

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