My phone kept ringing – I ignored it. It was Friday Night Out (interpretation:free childcare from our church). I was out at Target with my bestest friend. Drinking Starbucks. Walking in isles in peace and quiet. My phone rang again. I ignored it again. I was having fun and figured that my little friend that was calling just wanted to spend the night and didn’t really need anything.
I. was. wrong.
I got home and finally answered my phone. He was crying, “mama, come get me please.”
Me: “Are you ok?”
Him: “They keep messing with me.”
Me: “I am on my way.”
When I pulled up, he was sitting in the driveway in the cold with a bag over his head . . . crying. He crawled up in the car and I asked him if he was ok. “Yes, mam.”
We got home and he went straight to Jackson’s room. Jackson followed and came out and said, “I think something is really wrong with L.”
I went in Jackson’s room and L was hiding in the closet. It took me awhile to get him out.
Once he crawled out, we sat on the bed and I just held him and rocked him as small tears rolled down both of our faces. I whispered that I loved him and, most importantly, Jesus loves him. I whispered in his ear that Jesus will always be with him. I held him and told him that if I don’t answer the phone, am not home, or can’t be there – Jesus is always there. Jesus, is with you ALWAYS.
Helpless is all I feel right now. I am not equipped to handle this kind of trauma.
I texted out a short text asking my friend for prayer. Jesus, He is all these kids have. He is all we have.
As the needs pile up, the hurts implode this heart all I can do is cry out to Jesus.