By Paula Wheeler
Have you ever asked why? There are some days that I feel just like a 2 year old asking questions about EVERYTHING. I am one of those people who likes to know what’s going on and how it will end. Everything has to have a purpose and a meaning. If I am going to walk through a trial I want to know why and what the lesson to learn will be coming out the other side. With this comes lots and lots and lots of worry. My hubby calls me “Worst Case Scenario”. I over analyze everything – usually to an extreme. Someone looks at me the wrong way – I analyze it and then worry about them hating me. Someone says (or doesn’t say) something to me – I analyze it, promptly start to worry and go to worst case scenario. My kids don’t talk enough when they get in the car after school – you guessed it – I analyze it, worry and convince myself they must have been bullied or doing their cuss, do drugs, smoke, gotten expelled and on and on. It’s a vicious cycle – downward. So when my church offered a Bible study this fall called “Calm My Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow, I was all over it. I was sure that this would be great because I am overly anxious about everything and it would give me 10 easy steps to take so that I would not be anxious anymore.
10 easy steps – yeah right.
God would take my ignorance to teach that if I want something -it will take some serious work and a change in my way of thinking. There have been some really great chapters that I have learned from so far in the study.
“Content to be me” It was a hard one, but I got through it saying that I am fearfully and wonderfully made *sigh*.
“Never Enough” was another one that hit me hard and the Holy Spirit convicted me of always wanting more when I have been blessed with more than enough.
“A Faulty Focus” – great to be sure to set my course and have a life verse and purpose.
But then it happened – she went there – and I didn’t see it coming. WORRY. This ate my lunch. It started off like this “worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do but it won’t get you anywhere”. Ok, Paula, you got this – read the chapter – deny that it has anything to do with you – think about all of the people you know that worry more than me – but then again since she mentioned worry – worry about tomorrow, what people think, how will that problem work out – and there I go again. I get back to reading after worrying about everything that I could in just a few short minutes and Linda says “It’s not only wrong to worry, it is infidelity because worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the details of our lives…” WAIT! Back the truck up – did she really just say infidelity? No…really? Infidelity is when a spouse cheats on their spouse. When did infidelity come into my relationship with the Lord? I start thinking if worry says God can’t, then it leads to distrust on my part which causes me to doubt that He can take care of me and my worries. Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus instructs His disciples NOT to worry 5 times. Why would He repeat Himself 5 times? I especially love verse 34 that says “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” So, when I am not faithful to Him, He is ALWAYS faithful to me.
Lord, this day change my fear (worry, anxiousness, doubt – whatever you call it) to faith. I want to be faithful to the Faithful one. Amen.
I realize that this whole “no worries” thingy takes me constantly laying it down again. It takes work. Just like Kasey wrote about on November 2, it takes Jesus. He is the one who brings about true change. The Word tells us that He was tempted, yet He never sinned. It never said that He worried about the cross. I know I would have, but He gave it to His Father to handle, placed His trust in His Father, and was crucified. The cup wasn’t taken from Him, and but no where does it say that He was worried.
Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Stop rocking. Get up and walk towards Him. Don’t look at the waves below or the fire that surrounds you. Look to Him.