“Nice Girls Don’t Change the World” Love it, book by Lynne Hybels. It just spoke volumes to my heart. As you might have noticed lately I have been struggling with me. Just who I am. I never thought of myself as a people pleaser – sure, we all want to be liked but I never saw myself being ruled by it. I ran into another hiccup. I was trying so hard to please God, I wasn’t being who HE wanted me to be. I was just trying to play nice, be that nice, sweet girl who said nothing, thought nothing, and (here we go again) felt nothing. I have issues, I know. Now, please don’t get me wrong. God has called us to be holy and blameless. But in trying to get it “right” I forsook the me God made.
I just shut up and sat down. Now, there is for sure a time to sit down and shut up, but not all the time. I was haunted by words spoken to me, “I would hate to be like you, to have your gift.” Prophesy, that is. Maybe when we exercise our gifts without love like 1 Corinthians 13 shows us, that is when we become yucky. I had to learn, and still learning, to use my gift but with love. Without the love, you are just a banging symbol.
This weekend though I saw something – we need some bosses around. We need those to stand up and say,”this is wrong and needs to be fixed.” While bossy, someone needs to say it. I have started making notes. My phone has this cool little thing that looks like a legal pad and you can make note after note. Sometimes I send the notes, sometimes they are for the trash. Often I write the note, think through it and realize that the original plan makes total sense. It helps me, Type A, crazy, controlling to get a grip on her thoughts. To do something with the thoughts (kind of like this blog) – trash or send on (you are welcome to do the same).
Lynn Hybels writes, ” Whereas a nice girl tends to live according to the will of others, a good woman has only one goal: to discern and live out the will of God. A good woman knows that her ultimate calling in life is to be part of God’s plan for redeeming all things in this sin-touched world. A good woman knows that she cannot be all things to all people, and she may, in fact, displease those who think she should just be nice. She is not strident or petty or demanding, but she does live according to conviction. She knows that the Jesus she follows was a revolutionary who never tried to keep everyone happy.” Amen, sister.
Later, she says ” Then I came face to face with the realization that disappointing people is the greatest fear of the nice girl. It truly was my deepest fear. It was bad enough when I was anonymously in Kalamazoo, Michigan. But when I became, Lynn Hybels, pastor’s wife, it just got worse.”
How about you?
Does fear of disappointing people strike you?
In the end, reading this book helped me realize something: God has made me a certain way and given me certain gifts and abilities. I need to open myself up to His refinement but not shy away from who He created me to be. Bossy britches and all!