Some days I just want to turn my feeler off. I wish there was a switch that would just stop me from feeling. Today, I have reached my limit.
After seeing all that I saw in Peru, and now Haiti, I have been feeling numb.
Then yesterday at my son’s basketball game I got word that one of the boys died from the school our church has adopted. One of the kindergarden boys that I went on the field trip with died of heart problems. I planned to get up early and go to the school just to be there and help when needed.
At 3:30 am this morning, I could sleep no more. I had tossed and turned for the few hours I did sleep. It was easier to just get up. I knew I needed to spend some extra time in His Word and prayer. I knew that today would be rough. I just didn’t know how rough.
I arrived at school and immediately went to the kindergarden classes. I went to check on “Carlos, my sweetheart” and see his teacher. (If you don’t know who “Carlos” is – read here and here) I was excited to see him. Because I was in Peru, I had not seen him since the field trip.
His teacher greeted me and said,”you know your boy is gone?”
“Gone? What do you mean?” I stammered.
“He never came back after break. He is now in foster care.”
My heart dropped, my eyes filled with tears.
He is gone.
This verse was in my Bible reading today: Ecclesiastes 1:18 “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases in knowledge increases sorrow.”
I tried to tell you: Ignorance is Bliss. Knowledge Hurts. Bad.